RE: I’m in prison and I need some help

Dear Intertwit,

I’m in prison due to various offences (against goats in the main – but some relate to chickens).

I’ve got the following equipment:  a small tube of Colgate toothpaste, a fondue set (with various cheeses – some of them fairly ripe if that helps) and some grapes. The grapes are white. I am expecting a delivery of some red ones next week from Auntie Margaret – that will help I’m sure as they will contain more phytonutrients I’d imagine.

I’d like to escape within 4 days maximum and need to construct a cordless hammer drill (there are no sockets in this room). Needless to say, it will need to constructed from my available resources (as above). Ideally, I’d like it to feature the possibility of 24 torque settings, a comfortable rubber grip area and a key-less chuck (I may be in a rush).

How do I go about this please?

Thank you.

Minor Twerp Major Twit Asked on 2016-01-09 in It's personal.
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3 Answers

Dear Intertwit,

Thank you very much. Your advice was excellent and since reading your response a few minutes ago I’ve now implemented your suggestions. I’m free!

For future reference – and this may be useful if you have a similar questions in the future – we didn’t have a Kenwood Chef in the prison kitchen so I used the Magimix 3200XL BlenderMix Food Processor – finished in cream I might add. So during my escape via my newly constructed drill, not only did I benefit from the extra motor power but also was able to soak the aesthetics of it all. It made my escape all that much more pleasing.

I do realise though I’ve probably compromised my position as the UK’s most wanted Goat hustler by communicated via your website. From now on I need to get much cleverer and cleverer. So I will correspond with you via old-fashioned mail. I’m currently hiding here in a Lion enclosure (I’m the one that looks like that geezer of the wizard of Oz if you decide to visit):

Chessington World of Adventures Resort
Leatherhead Road
Chessington
Surrey
KT9 2NE

I think I’ve cracked this whole escape business so thanks again!

Major Twit Answered on 2016-01-10.
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