RE: Smart cars

Hola,

I have seen many of your smart cars in the UK. ¿Can you tell me why they are called smart cars?

muchos

Lostobillos Medium Twit Asked on 2016-02-05 in I'm confused.
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3 Answers

Dear lostobillos

Hola,  I feel like I know you.  Have we met?

While everything my fellow twit has said is completely correct, I believe smart cars are so called as they are short for smartarse cars. The drivers believe they have extra talents that others do not possess such as nipping through gaps that you could have driven a routemaster through with room to spare, or , very funny this one, parking their car perpendicular to the kerb and every normal car. They believe this to show  how resourceful they are. What it actually says is ” I am an attention seeking tit”.

These cars are common with the youth, before they trade up to a Vauxhall Corsa, stolen to order from Luton or Dunstable. They are also very popular with personal fitness trainers, usually  called Mario or Enrique or Hugo, seen plying their trade after their clients have dropped the kids off and need to kill a few hours before their hedge fund manager husbands come back some time just before midnight.

Smartarse cars are also popular with independent estate agents, with wacky sole trader names such as Gentle Rental, or Pink and Fluffy Homes. These companies will disintegrate after about 6 months, and the drivers will end up driving a Mini emblazoned with the hateful names of the  high street chains of money grabbing sharks. The car may change but the twattish driving remains the same.  Fortunately common law in the UK exempts all estate agents from having to pass exams to exercise their trade, or have any moral compass. As a result both sellers and buyers alike refer to them as soulless shallow fuckwit shitepigs.

I hope this has been helpful.

love and peace

JohnOB

Major Twit Answered on 2016-02-13.
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