RE: Vil det være mulig for Norge å ta Skottlands plass i Storbritannia etter Brexit? Vil det da bli lettere for oss å bli kvalifisert til EM i fotball?

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International Minor Twit Asked on 2016-06-27 in Sport.
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And here’s the English translation of the whole thing if your Norwegian is not up to standard:

International asked:

Will it be possible for Norway to take Scotland’s place in the UK after Brexit? It will then be easier for us to qualify for the European Championships in football?

Hoping for answers?

And we answered thusly:

Thanks for your question International! It’s a pleasure to receive your query and also our pleasure to answer you in Norwegian. Of course if you are Spanish you may not understand the answer but let us hope that isn’t the case.

Brexit has thrown up many questions hasn’t it? And football has indeed been affected. Already the glorious English national side have been dumped out of the European Champions by the mighty fermented-seagull eating Icelanders!

We think that the events of last Friday morning caused the English team to think they ought to come home early and so played last night with a level of ineptitude rarely seen in the modern world.

In reality though, their performance was one of poetry, artistry and beauty. A football ballet on par with Swan Lake. Except, this was a tragedy played by 11 men who appeared to have just met in the car park 15 minutes before the start of the game.

I can see why you’d want Norway to replace Scotland in the UK. And while we would be happy to share your bountiful natural resources of oil, minerals, timber, herring, trolls and extreme Heavy Metal I fear your plan may fail for the following 3 reasons:

  1. Scotland are rubbish at football and haven’t qualified for anything for ages. You’d only be replacing them at finishing 3rd in their qualifying group.
  2. Sepp Blatter no longer runs FIFA so you can’t just turn up in Zurich with a brown paper envelope stuffed full of cash anymore
  3. There are only 2 reasons

So instead I want all you Norwegians to invoke the memories of your greatest players:

Erik Mykland

Erik Mykland

Kjetil Rekdal

Kjetil Rekdal

Thorbjorn Svenssen

Thorbjorn Svenssen

Odd Iversen

Odd Iversen

Sonia Henie

Sonia Henie

As well as Flo, Solskjaer, the other Flo, Berg, Pedersen, another Iversen, Fjortoft (although he was rubbish at Swindon) and big Erik Thorsvedt!

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has retired, Sweden are on the slide. Norway will rise again!

Intertwit.com predicts with a great degree of certainty and authority that Norway will have risen from 51st in the FIFA rankings to the top 30 by 2018. That’s an Intertwit.com promise*

 

*Intertwit.com promises are not worth the paper they aren’t written on.

 

 

Chief Twit Answered on 2016-06-28.
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