What’s the official line on Brexit now it’s happened?

Dear Intertwit,

I’m confused by the rhetoric. I’ve reviewed lots of commentaries. I realised during the extensive research I’ve conducted that the only way I can get a considered view would be to ask intertwit.com – I think you may have the answer we’re all looking for. Or are you just as confused? We’ll see. I may not have been eligible for a vote in the referendum (due to age) but I have to live with the consequences. Make sure your answer makes sense and make it quick. I’m busy.

Problem Child (aged 7)

Medium Twit Asked on 25th June 2016 in I'm confused.
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3 Answer(s)

Thanks for your very current question Problem Child. You’re a precocious devil aren’t you now?

The EU In\Out referendum appeared to us to be a highly divisive subject at Intertwit.com and no matter your view before we have to live with the will of the people right now.

For us, it’s a shame that there appeared to be a lot of high fallutin’ skulduggery, threats and half-truths (and non-truths) pedalled by both sides and the world of UK politics seems a lot grubbier all round now it’s all over. Politicians, as a result are held in such low esteem that they are now behind estate agents and curtain salesmen (sorry about that curtain salesmen but we had a rather large disagreement about a set of heavy drapes we had installed here at Intertwit Towers) and that is a sad state of affairs.

I will therefore leave it to the noted journalist, poet, novelist and cake maker Rudyard Kipling to sum up our feelings:

I could not dig; I dared not rob:

Therefore I lied to please the mob.

Now all my lies are proved untrue

And I must face the men I slew.

What tale shall serve me here among

Mine angry and defrauded young?

 

Let’s crack on everyone.

 

** We nabbed the poem from an article written by journalist Nick Cohen. We’re not that clever at Intertwit.com to know all of Mr Kipling’s works past Viennese Whirls, French fancies and “I’m the King of the Swingers”.

Chief Twit Answered on 26th June 2016.
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Due to my tender your age I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean by “precocious”. 

However I did find your answer candid and erudite, yet strangely a little esoteric if you don’t mind me saying. 

The Rudyard Kipling quote (one that I read daily at bedtime) is always useful. So well done Intertwit. Overall I’d give you 8.25 out of 10.

Kind Regards,

Problem Child

PS Got a job for me please Mr Chief Twit? I was going to start importing grapes from the EU but the prices seem to have gone up. I was intending to be the UK’s youngest entrepreneur but  I’ve now massively lowered my expectations. So my new dream is to have your job. 

Medium Twit Answered on 26th June 2016.
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hola child, or should I say niño problema , think you are a problem child now, god help you in the future. I suggest that a new business opportunity will be to create energy generating machines, or large hamster wheels operated by children like your good self. The reason this is a good opportunity is that you mierda para los cerebros in the north, east, and south west of your land did not think that you will keep the lights on in your pathetic land, as your fragile infrastructure will fall over and the French are not going to build you a shiny new nuclear power station as you will only use it to run your 55inch (yes inches you backward pajeros) so you can watch your rat faced racist footballers.  You will not be able to run your coal fired power stations as the coal comes from Poland, the gas comes from Qatar ( you had your own but wasted that income on keeping everyone on the  dole for year after year) and you think fracking will solve all your problems you might as well watch Mad Max as a training video for how to survive in an apocalyptic post EU hinterland of shitsville. So my child, there will be plenty of jobs on the farms, in the care homes, and the car washes, the hotels and the coffee shops so think yourself lucky. Or you could stick bar codes on trainers in a vast warehouse for 50 pence an hour. Failing that start adapting your father’s Vauxhall Insignia into an all terrain desert vehicle and start wearing a hybrid of leather  and chain mail. For further reading try Rudyard Kipling’s Kim, which will provide everything you need to know about becoming a feral child in the jungle. Alternatively learn a foreign language and get the hell out at the earliest opportunity. 

Paz y amor. 

 

Medium Twit Answered on 26th June 2016.

I feel inspired.

A completely balanced view and much better than my average lesson at school.

I shall learn a foreign language quickly on your advice! You should give it a go too. You’ll crack English soon – you’ve made a great start there.

¡Gracias Lostobillos y hasta luego! 

PS. You’ve given me a great idea there so I’ve just set up Youth Enterprise initiative so all of us under-10’s can get cracking with fracking. I’ve been to B&Q as well – bought their best drill and some industrial looking overalls and boots. They’re a bit oversized to be honest but I’ve made good progress in daddy’s back garden. I can smell the gas already! I think I’ve cracked it. Hoorah for the enterprise of youth!

on 28th June 2016.
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