RE: BMW 4 x 4 and Terrible People
Are drivers of the BMW 4×4’s officially the worst people in the world?
You know, the big X1, 2, 3, 4, 5 things. Are the drivers all oblivious to anybody or anything on the road?
You know, All of them. Without exception, Are they all terrible, terrible people?
I think I know the answer already but would like confirmation please.
Yes well Mr Onion Terror, BMW drivers. What can we say except you are right you don’t need any confirmation:
Drivers of BMW 4×4’s are indeed officially the worst people in the world.
And that’s been backed up by a recent study at the United Nations in New York*
We all know that the drivers of BMW cars have been total tits for many many years now. All through the 1980’s & 1990’s you couldn’t drive for more than half a mile without encountering some total tit in a BMW 3 series weaving in and out of traffic jams in a needlessly aggressive fashion. Tinted windows, go faster stripes and low profile flarings that sort of thing.
They weren’t just the preserve of well heeled boy-racers, hairdressers and general wide boys (yes we said wide boys) though. Drug dealers, junior traders, successful double glazing salesmen, and everyone in Palmers Green, North London and most of Essex quite liked them too before graduating onto the larger 5 series.
The new 4×4 BMW’s are just the next logical progression for these people except they now seem intent on deploying these huge beasts to drive little Toby & Sophie to school in them. And woe betide you get in their way as you’ll be forced off the road into a ditch or cyclist because and we quote:
“I’m important and have the right of way on this road because I’m in a BMW! A big f**k off BMW at that so get out of the f**king way because after I’ve drop the little sweethearts off at wherever it is they go to during the day I’ve got a 45 minute personal training session with Quentin at the gym and then I have to meet all the other 4×4 drivers for a vegan skinny macchiato without the coffee or milk. And so what if I park like a self obsessed naval gazing fascist, I can do what I damn well want! Get out of my f**king way!!!”
Mr Onion Terror, these people truly are the most awful and terrible people in the world and we thank you for making sure we don’t forget it!
* Survey carried out at the United Nations Bar and Grill, New York, Honduras. (Happy hour Wednesday & Friday 5-7pm)