RE: It’s really hot isn’t it?

It’s really hot isn’t it?

And my local supermarket has mysteriously run out of peas.


OnionTerror Medium Twit Asked on 2018-07-27 in I'm confused.
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Sorry about that OnionTerror, the pea drought may be as a result of our previous and obviously highly influential answer.

Worry not though as you can replace the peas with anything frozen e.g sweetcorn, mixed vegetables or, to a lesser extent, broccoli florets.

If your local supermarket has sold out of all these items then stand in the frozen section with the glass doors open. Although you will be moved on eventually by the security staff you will at least receive the benefit of some short term cooling relief.

If you then avoid being carted off to the local police station because you became embroiled in an altercation with the security staff then make your way home only via shops that have air-conditioning in them. Try also not to cause any further incidents as the police will already have your description.

Once at home, dig a medium sized hole in your garden (say 2m x 2m) line with bin bags and fill with water. Immerse yourself for the rest of the day in your watery lagoon and you should now be cooling down nicely.

If you don’t have a garden dig your hole in the nearest garden or recreation area you can find taking care to avoid both local residents and law enforcement agencies.

Keep cool!


Sample hole with water



Chief Twit Answered on 2018-07-27.
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