RE: Tight Trousers

Dear Intertwit

I’ve recently noticed a trend among young males to wear very tight trousers (blue jeans I expect you would call them) and no socks  with rather “poncey” effeminate shoes. It confuses me as I am a strict wearer of sensible slacks, sober socks  and sturdy footwear.

Can you explain what the blimmin’ heck this is all about as I for am somewhat disturbed by this phenomenon.

Please try and make this a  proper, reasoned answer for a change.


BobMunkee Minor Twit Asked on 2017-03-14 in Popular Culture.
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1 Answers

Bob! Thanks for your question. We always enjoy your pithy and erudite comments so it’s nice to receive a question from you. And Bob, we know just what you’re talking about here. And it’s these isn’t it:



No Freakin’ Way!

Why would you do this?

Come on now, really???

Just go home please.

Now we don’t pretend to understand fashion here at but we do know what we like and even if we were virile young 20 somethings living in the midst of Hipsterville Central we don’t think we’d be wearing this sort of shoe \ no sock \ ankle frightened  getup.

If we lived in Milan or Rome or Monaco and it was lovely and warm and we were taking a turn round the local piazza or out for a gentle ride on our Vespa then we could kind of understand how this sort of look could fit in nicely. We’d look like local dudes fitting in with the surroundings.

But wearing this as your work clothes? On the tube or train? In February? No, nay, never. Nah-uh. Non. Niet. No,no, no. We saw a couple of blokes last week coming out of a football match (alright it was Arsenal but even that’s not an excuse) and they all appeared to be wearing their sisters jeggings! And they weren’t skinny blokes either so it just looked all the more ridiculous!!! It took us all our powers of restraint to stop us from verbally confronting them (after slapping them round the face several times) to ask them if they were happy that their female siblings now had to stay in until they returned home.

We digress though as there actually some serious reasons why this fashion faux pas is wrong aside from the high twat-factor.

We’ve known for years that tight trousers causes infertility in men due to the overheating this causes in the crotch area but there is also a risk of testticular torsion, heartburn caused by raised blood pressure, severe chafing and even thrush. And that’s just blokes – you don’t want to know what they do to women!

And as for the know sock thing! Well to put it bluntly, your feet are going to stink. Your poncey little shoes are going to stink. And due to your poncey shoes stinking your feet will stink even more until it becomes a cycle of unbearable stench and fungal infections. Not so cool now eh?

Foe God’s sake just get yourself a decent pair of boots and jeans and move on before you do anymore damage to yourself and the environment.

Bob, we suggest that if you see any young people in your area dressed like this then simply hand them this card:

It will make them think for sure and as long as they don’t look overly aggressive they probably won’t assault you.

Fashion. It’s easy.

Chief Twit Answered on 2017-03-17.
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